Wife and Mommy

I do not plan to give birth ever again.

Nonetheless, the book Birth Day:  A Pediatrician Explores the Science, the History, and the Wonder of Childbirth by Dr. Mark Sloan intrigued me.  Dr. Sloan weaves the history of modern birth with his experience of attending 3,000 births.  I couldn’t help but think of my own childbirth experiences as I read.  I marveled at the wonder of a new lives coming out of their mother’s bodies.  The geeky side of me absorbed the science of childbirth and information about epidurals, cesarean births, premature birth and possible complications that could occur.

Each time I was pregnant, I was amazed by how many women wanted to share their birth stories with me.  It seemed my round, protruding belly was an invitation for any and all mothers to launch into the stories of how their children entered the world.  Now that I have my own three darlings, I understand the desire to chronicle how my little miracles began their lives.  I don’t go so far as to encroach on expectant women with my tales, but I will gladly tell the account of how Bito, Cupcake, and BabyMuffin left my womb to become autonomous beings if I am asked.

Bito was born in a Japanese birthing center when The Husband and I were living overseas.  I had trouble understanding what was happening and it wasn’t necessarily a language barrier (the doctor spoke English pretty well).  My fear of the unknown—giving birth—overshadowed the joy of finally knowing I would see my son soon.  Epidurals are not common for Japanese women giving birth, but I told the doctor under no uncertain terms that he would give me an epidural.  He reluctantly agreed.  A needle was indeed placed in my back, and the doctor claimed he gave me “just a little bit,” to take the edge off.  Ha, whatever.  I still felt every single contraction of pain and didn’t get the pleasant numbing that I expected and wanted.  All 9+ pounds of Bito was born after a long arduous labor that I spent tense, afraid, and stressed.

I figured since I’d essentially done it med-free the first time, I didn’t plan to have any medication the second time around.  However, Cupcake gave me back labor, which is an excruciating torture I wouldn’t wish upon anyone!  By the time I finally consented to an epidural, it took the anesthesiologist quite awhile to get to me since there were many women laboring that night.  After sticking me four times, the needle finally got placed.  I swung my legs up onto the bed and immediately exclaimed, “I have to push!”  Five pushes later, BabyCupcake was born.  The obstetrician and L&D nurse in the room joked that I’d gotten some good drugs for the stitching since the epidural didn’t take effect until after Cupcake flew into the world (also 9+ pounds)!

I was bound and determined to not have a needle placed in my back for BabyMuffin’s birth.  I’m not sure why it was so important to me then, other than to be able to say that I’d finally, really, truly done it med-free after three tries.  Now, 20 months later, it doesn’t matter.   I spent most of BabyMuffin’s labor floating in a tub of warm water, which is what I will do again if for some reason I ever give birth again (but next time, it will be at home!).

I know that I am lucky to have had three uncomplicated births in which I didn’t need constant monitoring or a cesarean section.  I am glad I was able to decide much of how labor and delivery went.  I am glad, most of all, that I had three big healthy babies born without any need for additional interventions or NICU stays.

Now whenever a friend is expecting a baby, or I see a pregnant woman, I hope for the same type of straightforward birth for them.

Kind of like the way gorillas give birth.

Tags: book club