It's OPI Ink. But really, it's a dark dark purple.

Purple nails is the least I can do to show my support and love for you, dear Susan.

Join us in the @whymommy lovefest.

Not believing that a guy in a red suit comes down the chimney and delivers gifts.  Rather, a magical, wondrous belief in kindness and generosity that people display around the holidays.

Like the story of anonymous people paying off Kmart layaway accounts on behalf of others?  That’s Santa Claus to me.

Or how one woman decided to give away the gently used toys her boys didn’t play with anymore?  That idea snowballed and became Play It Forward Pittsburgh.  She ended up blessing 383 families, 1436 children, by ultimately giving away over 5000 toys to those who might otherwise not have Christmas presents.  That’s Santa Claus to me.

With my children, I am still perpetuating the myth of the man in the red suit bringing presents.  As much as I love playing Santa and making things amazing for them, I’m already looking forward to sharing the adult version of Santa Claus with them some day.  Of looking for and seeing goodness in the world.  Of doing random acts of kindness for others.  Of helping people who need an extra hand.

I hope my children will have eyes to see that kind of Santa Claus as they mature.

No matter what holiday you celebrate, I wish you warmth and happiness, and hopes for a peaceful time together with your family.

She writes, “…the more I realized that I do a pretty bang up job on thinking about the things I perceive as negatives about myself and a pretty poor job thinking about my positives.”

This is me, too.  I am my own worst critic, and I can be unnecessarily harsh on myself.  So to that end, I am trying to find some Things I Like About Me.

Here goes:

1. I like my skin.  It is generally blemish-free, is a color that I like, and there are no wrinkles on my face yet.
2. I remember the details of people’s lives.  Books and movies?  Forget about it.  But people are important to me, and I tend to hang on to the stuff they tell me about themselves.  More than once, I’ve surprised a person by asking for a follow-up to something they mentioned awhile ago in passing.
3. I am a good friend, who loves fiercely and is loyal and generous. I can listen with a patient ear, and am happy to do what I can for my friends.
4. I like the scars on my body because they all have stories.  The one on my knee because I decided to ride a bike down a hill backwards when I was a kid.  The one up high on my chest from when my first cat gouged me with her back claw because I thought I should pick her up and squeeze her.  The one on the top of my foot from surgery last summer.
5. I will try anything once.  New foods?  Yes please.  Different experiences?  Sign me up.  I would rather try something one time before ruling it out as something not for me.
6. I am punctual.  If I am asked to be somewhere at a certain time, I will try my darndest to be there at that time.
7. I like my analytical mind.  I enjoy working through problems and thinking through things methodically.
8. I like that I know how and when to keep my mouth shut.  As in keeping secrets, yes, but also when to step back and allow others to talk.

Whew, that was HARD!  I do not like to brag, so this was uncomfortable to write.  Why is it so much easier to point out the things we don’t like about ourselves?  Thank you, Elena, for this exercise!

I know I have lurkers.  I know you’re out there.  And now the other four readers I have know it too since I just called you out.  :-)

So please!  Show yourself.  Be proud.  Be strong.  Speak for your lurking status by leaving me a comment, okay?

Lurkers, represent!

Are you or do you know a breast cancer survivor? Please read today’s post and pass it on. If you can’t afford to purchase a lymphedema sleeve, gauntlet, and/or glove, and you can’t manage your post-mastectomy swelling, Crickett’s Answer and LympheDIVAs want to help.

Today, I am pleased to announce a NEW opportunity for breast cancer survivors who have had a mastectomy and/or axillary dissection of the lymph nodes due to breast cancer and have swelling of one or both arms but cannot afford the $200-$500+ cost for two sets of the compression sleeves and gauntlets that survivors with lymphedema must wear every day to keep the swelling in check.

Although lymphedema sleeves are medically necessary, they are not covered by Medicare OR most insurance plans under current law, and thousands of survivors go without the sleeves, needlessly suffering congestion, swelling, and pain that interferes with their normal activities.

Crickett’s Answer, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization founded in memory of Crickett Julius, has just joined forces with LympheDIVAs to help other breast cancer survivors who fight not just the beast that is breast cancer but also the fallout of side effects that includes lymphedema, which may limit survivors’ activities. By working together, they are now able to provide needed lymphedema sleeves and gauntlets to women who need them but cannot afford them out-of-pocket or convince their insurance companies to pay for them. They do this in honor and memory of their loved ones.

Crickett Julius survived breast cancer only four months, but her mother and cousin are dedicated to helping other women enjoy their life post-diagnosis through Crickett’s Answer, a 501(c)3 organization that provides wigs, mastectomy products, oncology/mastectomy/ lymphedema massage, facials, and other pampering services as a way to help women feel feminine and beautiful after losing their hair and/or breasts.

LympheDIVAs was founded by Rachel Troxell and Robin Miller, friends and breast cancer survivors, who wanted to create a more elegant and comfortable compression sleeve. Rachel continued to build the company during her later recurrence. Even though she died two years ago, at the age of 37, her father, mother, and brother continue to grow the company in her honor and in the hope that LympheDIVAs’ compression apparel will continue to inspire breast cancer survivors everywhere to feel as beautiful, strong, and confident as Rachel was.

To ask for help, please download and complete the forms at Crickett’s Answer, writing in “lymphedema sleeve and gauntlet” on page 2 of the application.

To help someone else, please copy and paste this post on your blog or email it to a friend (or your local cancer center!).

To donate, go here.

To help change the law so that this medical garment is covered by cancer survivors’ insurance, stay tuned for more about the Lymphedema Treatment Act when it is reintroduced in the 2011 Congress.

Because of these women, these three thirty-something women who didn’t ask to get breast cancer, and the men and women who love them, there is now help for women who can’t afford lymphedema sleeves, a medically necessary garment not typically covered by insurance. Their legacy lives on.

Note: Cancer patients who are members of the National Lymphedema Network and who are treated by an NLN therapist can also apply to the NLN garment fund, set up in honor of Marilyn Westerbrook.

Twelve more hours.  Twelve more hours.  I can do this.  I can.  I can.

4:30 AM, in the dark dark morning.  The local Walmart parking lot was crowded.  The inside of the  store was packed.  I braved the throngs.  I chose a few doorbuster deals.  I purchased the items and went on my merry way…to Meijer, Kohls, and breakfast.

Yes.  I was one of those Black Friday shoppers.

Honestly, though?  I didn’t go for the super awesome deals.  Sure, I did a little Christmas shopping and saved some money, but I’d much rather sleep and do all my shopping online on Cyber Monday!

Why, then, did I drag myself out into the stupidly cold Midwestern weather to go shopping at an ungodly hour with a thousand other crazies?

I went for the camaraderie with my female relatives.  My mother-in-law and sister-in-law and I go Black Friday shopping the years we are together.  It’s become somewhat of a tradition.  This year, we also had my nephew’s girlfriend join us.  Shivering and slipping on the parking lot ice, we giggled at the silliness as we made our way from store to store together.

Like I said, I could leave the deals and stay snoozin’ in bed (how I love to sleep!)…but the chance to laugh with my family and hang out together is great fun.  I so rarely have girl time with my in-law family, so I guard and treasure this tradition we have made.   I look most forward to breakfast in a coney island restaurant, wrapping our hands around mugs of coffee and re-hashing what deals we got…and what we still wanted to purchase.

I’ll do this every year I have relatives that are game to go.  It’s time I don’t regret spending with the gals…even if I do have to sacrifice some sleep.

When we stay in the DC area for Thanksgiving, we are so lonely.  Seriously, the past few years have just been sad.  The Husband and I make an effort to do a whole meal that the kids don’t really eat.  We invite others, but everyone else has plans and we’ve never had anyone else show up to celebrate with us.  So it’s just the five of us and it is too quiet.  I long for a bustling table full of family and friends with whom to be thankful and celebrate.  We get that when we’re with The Husband’s family:  Grandma’s house is loud and happy and people we hardly get to see are there.  I love that.  Love the warmth and the joyfulness of it.

So this year, we bit the bullet and hit the road.  Yes, traveling was a PITA.  Especially with three kids, and the amount of traffic moving on the interstates.  Did I mention what a PITA it is?  Every few years, though, fighting the bazillions of other people to go to Grandma’s house is okay.

Happy Thanksgiving to you, my friends, fellow bloggers, readers, and lurkers!  May your table be surrounded by family, friends, and much love.

Right now, the thing I hate the most about myself is the extra weight I carry.  I really hate the rolls and bulges that are on my body, advertising that I have lost all self-control when it comes to eating and exercise.

Which brings  me to a bigger point about something I hate about myself:  lack of self-control.  Not something I’ve mastered in my life!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In an attempt to get my blogging mojo back, I’m doing the 30 Days of Truth.  It’s a blogging meme, but I’m looking at it more as writing prompts to jump start  my blog.  It might actually get me writing regularly again!  Here are the 30 prompts:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

However, I am giving myself permission to skip any that I can’t bring myself to write about…it’s my blog, my thoughts, and I’m learning to cut myself some slack when it comes to these things!

And I have to say, I am gratified when my kids remember their good manners without my prompting.  I positively glow when I am told by another adult that I have polite children!  My efforts are not in vain!

I myself try to be polite and kind to all people, but I have to confess:  I don’t always succeed. There are times when I want results and I want them now. I can easily resort to being abrupt and the words, “Please,” and “Thank you,” might not cross my lips.  I realize the hypocrisy of this as I am trying to teach my kids to always use good manners.  I’ve begun gritting my teeth and remaining courteous at all times, and it is truly hard!!

I believe in leading by example, though, so I shall press on towards being polite at all times.  Even when I don’t want to.  Even when I don’t think I should have to be.

I suppose this is just another example of how being a mother challenges me.  Nobody ever said it would be easy.