We got pregnant with Bito a little bit quicker than we expected. We decided we’d start “trying” in the summer of 2003. In anticipation of this, I went off the pill at the beginning of January. In late February, we had a glowing positive pregnancy test. Whoops! We were excited and went through all the first-time parent nervousness and fun.
Bito was born in Japan, as The Husband and I took jobs over there and moved when I was 28 weeks pregnant. It was a cool experience to give birth in a Japanese birthing clinic and to spend the first few months of Bito’s life in a foreign country. We moved back to the DC area in the summer of 2004.
I digress. This isn’t meant to be the history of Bito.
One of the things I most looked forward to when we started having kids was the conversations I’d have with my children. I kept waiting and wondering when Bito would start making cute little toddler remarks. I observed friends who had similarly aged children and their exchanges, and grew anxious because it wasn’t happening for us. Bito didn’t answer us appropriately in response to questions…instead he would often repeat back what we said. This was frustrating for us, as well as for Bito. We were never sure if he truly understood us or not.
When Bito turned three, we contacted our county’s Child Find to set up an appointment to have him evaluated. By the time our appointment finally rolled around, his echolalic speech had diminished considerably. We went ahead with the evaluations since we’d waited so long to be seen.
One of the evaluators noticed that Bito did not ask normal questions. Instead of asking, “Can I play with that truck?” he would say, “There’s a truck on that shelf.” I, being very used to his patterns of speech, would accommodate by responding, “Yes, would you like to play with it?” The evaluator told us that Bito was developmentally delayed in his language progression.
It was difficult for us to hear that something was “wrong” with our first-born. No parent wants to be told that their perfect baby isn’t perfect. The Husband and I certainly struggled with the entire evaluation process. I kept wanting to deny that it was happening, that the evaluators were somehow wrong.
Bito was found eligible for early intervention services, focusing on his pragmatic language skills. During the last school year, he had a county appointed teacher go to his private preschool once per week to observe and work with him in a classroom setting. This gave her the opportunity to strengthen his skills in conversing with others. We received a weekly report and reinforced with practice at home.
We are now seeing the results of all this effort. Bito has dramatically improved his language skills. His early intervention teacher, his preschool teachers, and many of our friends and family have all commented on how Bito now talks–really talks!–in conversation.
My heart is so happy these days when I realize Bito and I are having the give-and-take exchanges of conversations. Two years ago, even a year ago, it was a struggle for The Husband and me to discern if Bito clearly understood the things we were saying to him. Now we don’t wonder anymore. Bito is able to clarify and demonstrate his understanding (although his intelligence was never in question). Bito asks questions. He argues with us. He negotiates with us. I am now able to tell stories of the cute conversations and things Bito says. So on that note, I leave you with a few:
Bito: Mommy, do you have a bottom or a butt?
Me (surprised because we don’t generally use the word ‘butt’): Uh, I have a bottom.
Bito: I have a butt.~~~~~~~~~~
Bito: Grandpa, do you have hair in your nose?
Grandpa: Yep, I guess we all do.
Bito: Not me. I have gunk in my nose.
~~~~~~~~~~Me, laughing hysterically at the Cakewrecks blog someone suggested.
Bito: What are you laughing at? Why are you being so loud? What is funny, Mommy?
~~~~~~~~~~
It would’ve been sweet if had happened at a normal pace, but I am finding it’s much sweeter because of the wait.
