This week, two things occurred that made the wheels in my head spin (well, spin faster than usual).
First, my Korean mother was here visiting (all in all it was a great visit. We only almost got into a big blow-out fight one time!).
Second, I was reading the latest greatest book for my online book club, From Left to Write. If You Knew Suzy by Katherine Rosman is one of the books this month, and I dove into it quickly. Here is a little synopsis of the book from the publisher’s page, to give you an idea of what was the stimulus for aforementioned head spinning:
Faced with the loss of her mother, Suzy, to cancer at sixty, Wall Street Journal reporter Katherine Rosman longs to find answers to the questions that we all wrestle with after losing someone we love. So she does what she does best: she opens her notebook and starts investigating.
I am fortunate my own mother is alive and healthy and I hope she will be around for many years to come. I also hope that I will be around for a long, long time for my own children. This book, however, had me wondering what my own daughter Cupcake might say about me some day if she were to eulogize me at my funeral. I know, totally morbid, but it’s the thought loop that my head was stuck on…
Will Cupcake talk about my odd habits, such my inability to keep socks on my feet if I am not wearing shoes? Will the strangeness of idiosyncrasies stick in her mind some day as funny things to laugh about as she remembers me?
Or maybe the eulogy will be about the way I adore her and her brothers…my desire for The Very Best in Life for them, and my willingness to work hard for them to have the opportunities for those things. I hope she will recognize that I only want what is best for her and her brothers, even if she is unable to see that while in the moment.
Maybe the great love shown between her father and me will be remembered in her words…how the marriage between her parents is a commitment and a choice we make every day to one another. I hope and pray that our example of love, commitment, and marriage will the measuring stick to which she chooses her own partner and know how she is to be treated.
I don’t know what Cupcake (or anyone, really) will say about me some day. I hope, however, that reflecting on her mother’s life is something that will give her great pause as she realizes my life was worth living because of the people I am surrounded by today.
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This post was inspired by the book, If You Knew Suzy by Katherine Rosman. You can read this and other fantastic posts inspired by Ms. Rosman’s work on From Left to Write. A copy of this book was given to me by the publisher for this book club.
This book made me really think about myself as a mom too-especially when K.R. realized why her mom dealth with the cancer with she and her sister a certain way. In protecting our kids do we send wrong messages about trust and truth? Such a great book and such a great post about it. Cupcake should be proud.:)
Yes, I wondered this too while reading this book. You really can’t help it! It makes me want to write things down and shape them…but then I also realize that my kids experience of me will be different than I would ever imagine. It is our relationship that matters in the end.
I love what you say about marriage being a “a commitment and a choice we make every day to one another.” My husband and I are both from very divorced families and we work hard to remind each other that nurturing our marriage is the most important gift we can give our kids.
What an important point you make about life being worth living because of our relationships. Without them, what do we really have?
Cristie–thanks for you comment. I often wonder what I am inadvertently teaching my children because of the way I choose to deal with something!
Hi Linsey! If only it were so easy to shape the experiences the way we want them to be for our children!
Thanks for dropping by! I know my blog is about being a wife and a mom, but I often write more about mothering than being a wife. I don’t mean to neglect The Husband, especially since he is the one I chose intentionally.
It really does not matter in the end, if not for the relationships with have. This is something I must remind myself of when there are THOSE days…but I am blessed and glad these people are in my life and I am in theirs!