Comments on: Feelings and apologies http://www.wifeandmommy.com/feelingsandapologies/ Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:29:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Tracey http://www.wifeandmommy.com/feelingsandapologies/comment-page-1/#comment-412 Tracey Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:36:05 +0000 http://wifeandmommy.com/?p=635#comment-412 I love this approach. I find my 2 1/2 year old coaching herself by saying "I'm Ok, I'm Ok" after she bumps herself or is upset about something...I have to think that I've somehow engrained that automatic response in her by my early attempts at 'comforting' (ie: telling her she is OK). New to your blog, but i'll be back! :) I love this approach.

I find my 2 1/2 year old coaching herself by saying “I’m Ok, I’m Ok” after she bumps herself or is upset about something…I have to think that I’ve somehow engrained that automatic response in her by my early attempts at ‘comforting’ (ie: telling her she is OK).

New to your blog, but i’ll be back! :)

]]> By: Stimey http://www.wifeandmommy.com/feelingsandapologies/comment-page-1/#comment-411 Stimey Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:30:08 +0000 http://wifeandmommy.com/?p=635#comment-411 Interesting. This totally makes sense. Interesting. This totally makes sense.

]]> By: Kay http://www.wifeandmommy.com/feelingsandapologies/comment-page-1/#comment-410 Kay Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:58:19 +0000 http://wifeandmommy.com/?p=635#comment-410 My guess is that if the I'm sorry's are being added on unprompted, they're sincere. Kids aren't going to say it if they don't mean it - unless you force them to. I never quite looked at it that way when my teenager was younger, but I have to say I agree. Personally, even as an adult, I'd much rather get an "I shouldn't have done that and will do my best not to do it again" than an insincere apology. My guess is that if the I’m sorry’s are being added on unprompted, they’re sincere. Kids aren’t going to say it if they don’t mean it – unless you force them to. I never quite looked at it that way when my teenager was younger, but I have to say I agree. Personally, even as an adult, I’d much rather get an “I shouldn’t have done that and will do my best not to do it again” than an insincere apology.

]]> By: Lara http://www.wifeandmommy.com/feelingsandapologies/comment-page-1/#comment-409 Lara Tue, 14 Jul 2009 15:21:45 +0000 http://wifeandmommy.com/?p=635#comment-409 I've found myself saying, "You're OK," when the Buggins has a little tumble that seems to startle her more than anything else. This has led to a conversation with my mom about when and whether it's ever OK to say, "You're OK," with my mom noting that one of her pet peeves is when people say to kids, "You're OK. That didn't hurt." How do you know it didn't hurt? Obviously, unless it happened to you, you don't. And so we've talked about whether there is a difference in saying the first part -- you're OK -- without making a declaration about injury. And I'm still not sure. I suspect personality plays a role in whether this is an exercise in semantics or not. I’ve found myself saying, “You’re OK,” when the Buggins has a little tumble that seems to startle her more than anything else. This has led to a conversation with my mom about when and whether it’s ever OK to say, “You’re OK,” with my mom noting that one of her pet peeves is when people say to kids, “You’re OK. That didn’t hurt.” How do you know it didn’t hurt? Obviously, unless it happened to you, you don’t. And so we’ve talked about whether there is a difference in saying the first part — you’re OK — without making a declaration about injury. And I’m still not sure. I suspect personality plays a role in whether this is an exercise in semantics or not.

]]> By: Emily http://www.wifeandmommy.com/feelingsandapologies/comment-page-1/#comment-408 Emily Tue, 14 Jul 2009 12:37:02 +0000 http://wifeandmommy.com/?p=635#comment-408 When I was teaching preschool, we were taught (by the people who did our curriculum training) never to force a child to apologize. Then you're only teaching them that it's ok to say sorry when you don't mean it, and you should wait until they're old enough to have the empathy to understand being sorry and do it on their own. Not that I always manage to practice what I preach, but I agree with you :) When I was teaching preschool, we were taught (by the people who did our curriculum training) never to force a child to apologize. Then you’re only teaching them that it’s ok to say sorry when you don’t mean it, and you should wait until they’re old enough to have the empathy to understand being sorry and do it on their own.

Not that I always manage to practice what I preach, but I agree with you :)

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