Wife and Mommy

My beloved dog passed away last weekend.  

J-dog was more than just a dog–she was my loyal, constant companion.  Her purpose in life was to be as close to me as possible…but she could temporarily appeased by bright patches of sunshine to sleep in, long walks, car rides with her head out the window, belly rubs, and squirrels to chase.

Sadly, it was the chasing squirrels that hastened her death.  As J-dog took off at full tilt in her last attempt to catch the evil little vermin who taunted her, she fell, rolled over, and was unable to stand.  An x-ray showed a fracture in her left front leg…but it also revealed canine osteosarcoma in her distal radius.  In other words, there was a bone tumor in her wrist joint.

The vet was compassionate but did not mince words with me:  based on the size of the tumor, the severity of the fracture, J-dog’s advanced age, and the obvious pain she was in despite mega-big painkillers, he thought the most humane thing to do would be to put her to sleep.

And so we did.  I’m not going to go into details because I’ll start bawling again…but let me just tell you it was fast and peaceful.  J-dog is not in pain any more.

Needless to say, I’ve been dealing with sudden bursts of uncontrollable grief, as well as longer periods of gloom as this week has progressed.  Grieving through the holiday season is new for me and I don’t like it one bit.  All the festivities, joyous celebrations, and warm yummy baked goods are in direct contrast to the mourning I am going through for my pet.  It’s a lonesome, isolating feeling, even though I have The Husband who is going through the same sad feelings.  We do our best to prop each other up.

Rest in peace, dear J-dog.