Wife and Mommy

Today, I lost Cupcake in a department store.

It was only for a few minutes–maybe four at the very most–but it was my first time losing a child.  Ever.

I admit, I didn’t have her in sight, but I knew where she was.  She, however, did not know my location.  And then, a cleaning person nearby turned on a vacuum cleaner.  I looked up and started calling her name, knowing she might be a bit startled.  Over the roar of the machine, she could not hear me.  She took off and by the time I made it out to the main aisle, she was no where to be seen.

I wasn’t concerned as she has never been a wanderer and normally sticks close.  I had BabyMuffin in a stroller, so I simply went one direction, calling out her name.

No response.

I turned in the opposite direction and started calling her name louder.  A few shoppers looked at me as I began to hurry, looking over the racks and displays.

Still no response.

A faint feeling of alarm was growing in my chest.  My calling grew even louder and others began looking around for my little girl.

My calls turned to bellows, and I had to quash the urge to race madly about with the stroller.  Other people were openly craning their necks in an effort to spot her as well.  One lady asked how old she is.  Another woman stopped me and said, “Leave the stroller and baby with me.  We will admire these Christmas trees together.  Go.  Find your daughter.”

I stared at this woman and wondered whether to trust her or not.  My frantic brain was soothed by her calm demeanor, so I left BabyMuffin and dashed away.  An elderly woman said she thought she’d seen Cupcake heading towards the housewares department.

Then I saw her coming toward me, holding a store associate’s hand.  I ran to her, dropped to my knees, hugged her tightly, and said casually, “Hey.  I was looking for you.”  Cupcake was not distraught and I didn’t want to frighten her, but I squeezed her tight.  All the tension left my eyeballs and I began crying.  She simply said, “The vacuum scared me and I couldn’t see you.”  I resisted the urge to lecture her on what to do if we get separated…that would come later.  Just for that moment, I held her close and whispered a prayer of thanksgiving.

I am amazed by the strong emotions that quickly bubbled up in me over those few minutes.  I am so glad the last emotion was one of relief and happiness.

We went back and found the lady who had BabyMuffin.  I thanked her profusely.  She said it was not a problem, that she’d been there herself.  As we made our way out of the store, others expressed their relief as well.  It was all I could do to not break out in tears and sob each time.

I am so thankful to those weekday shoppers–so many rushing to look, to help.  Thank you.  Thank you.  I can’t say it enough:  Thank you.