Wife and Mommy

Imagine your family for a moment.  Your entire family.  Husband, children, parents, sisters/brothers and their spouses, their children.

Now imagine all of those people spending a week together.  In a house.  Forced togetherness.

Yes, you read that right.  For a WHOLE WEEK.

Did you just shudder?  The thought of spending a whole week with my family makes me cringe.  Oh, I like everyone just fine…in small numbers and in controlled, small amounts of time.  But if we were made to be together for an entire week?  Um…just have me committed afterwards.

This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper, is a story of Judd Foxman, his brothers Paul and Phillip, and sister Wendy.  The Foxman siblings are asked to sit shiva in their family home after the death of their father.  Their mother is present, as are Paul’s wife, and Wendy’s husband and three children.  Phillip brings along his life coach/fiancee Tracy.  The next door neighbor, Linda, is around as well.  Oh, and Judd’s soon-to-be-ex-wife (who cheated on Judd with his boss), shows up to announce that the baby she is carrying is indeed Judd’s, not the other guy’s.

There’s more to the story than that, but just think of all the tensions, irritations, secrets and skeletons that would surface with all that Together Time.  Stories told.  Histories rehashed.  Secrets revealed.  Families are great…but too much family in such an environment can be downright toxic.

So going back to the skin-crawling hypothetical of spending an entire week with MY family…well.  I’d be finding ways to escape, even if it’s just to a trance-like state and monosyllabic grunts in response to anyone and everyone.  And since my mom thinks alcohol is evil and we generally don’t drink around her, I’m sure there’d be a lot of sneaking off to the bathroom for surreptitious shots.  Either that or we’d all imbibe openly in front of her…however, not sure any buzz is worth mom’s wrath because she would never forget and never let us forget.  The Husband and my father would have to find new, inventive ways to ignore one another while pretending to communicate normally.  My children would see me from the eyes of my parents and sister.  Secrets my sister and I have kept would be in danger of being blown.  My life would be judged quietly and loudly, re-told and shared in ways I wouldn’t choose to do myself.  All in the name of love and family.

I am sure there would be wonderful moments emerging from the periods of uncomfortable squirming.  New memories would be made.  Laughter would ring like music.  There would most certainly be Korean soul food to nosh on.  Awesome time would be shared with the people I love most in this world, people who have known me my entire life, people who know me most intimately now in my life.  That would be precious time that could not be replicated in our usual hurried time together.

I’m just not sure I’m willing to go through the uncomfortable stuff to reach those moments of wonderful.  I guess that’s why it would have to be a week of forced togetherness.

I must stop thinking about this hypothetical situation before I hyperventilate.

…

This post is written in response to Jonathan Tropper’s This Is Where I Leave You, the SVMom’s Blog Book Club selection for October.  Members were given the book to read and discuss on our blogs.  Read more responses to the book at NYC Moms blog (this month’s book club host)..

Tags: book club